Lifted

Let me fall,
down
down
down
down
On my knees
at the bottom
nowhere else to go.

It is there,
below
deep
in the depths
alone
Where I can understand
the past is past
and I am safe.

Watch me rise,
Up
Toward to the sun
To hope
Reaching you
And making a new life
Our new future
Together and bonded.


It was you,
Your light,
Your brightness,
Your smile,
Your everything,
That brought me to here,
To where I can be again,
To where I am unafraid.

You and Me

When I think of you,
It's not roses and puppies,
Not diamonds and sunsets.

When I think of you,
It's not cookies and ice cream,
Not mansions and kissing in the rain.

There is no swell of music,
No zoom in, pan across face;
It's not a fairytale.

When I think of you,
It's old hats and yarn,
Lap sitting and loud laughing.

When I think of you,
It's mac n cheese and french fries,
A first kiss, a new direction.

I can smell your clothes against my nose,
Feel your beard as your lips brush my forehead.
It may not be a fairytale, but it's a dream in motion.

So don't bring me flowers or buy me houses,
Just kiss my cheek, move my hair,
And settle in for a love that's priceless.

Interlude

It starts, simple touches,
Symbols crashing with every move, every breath,
A tempest blaring, swaying from left to right to wrong,
I rise, I fall, I move, I hide.
I live, I love, I survive to see your face again another day.
This cuts into everything, revealing the twinkle of a thousand stars
They loom, they brighten.
And so it all builds, up and up
Mounting in to a head of terrible ecstasy for life, for each caress
A painful longing for just another look, another touch
My mind is unknowing, unmarked, confused.
And yet it blows on, ideas falling from every limb of new emotion.
I want to thank you, to show you,
To let you feel some small portion of my own joy
And yet I feel unremarkable, unable to give it to you.
Or maybe selfish.
Maybe scared.
Afraid this dreadful wind will stop.
The bell rings and all I see is your face.
And that’s alright with me.

Changes In Reflection- Older Poetry

When I was little
I played by a pond
The most beautiful pond I could know.

I played princess and traveler,
Made stories of love,
The fantasies oh so real.

When I was little,
I thought a kiss was the end,
The story need not go any further.

I thought it was to meet,
To fall, to love, to kiss.
The end, no more

When I grew older,
I kept my hopes,
Thinking a kiss could solve it all.

I dreamt and I waited,
Knowing it had to be so.
Just a kiss and that's all I would need.

When I grew older,
I found out the truth.
A kiss is not the fix.

I opened my eyes,
Took a good look around.
And realized there is so much more than a kiss.

But when I was little,
I played by a pond.
The most beautiful pond I could know.

I returned to that pond,
Looked around it once more,
And realized it was all just a dream.

Untitled Poem and The Poet follow up

The poet knelt in the sand,
Her eyes on the grains as they slipped away.
And she knew, feeling the softness contrast
The coarseness she knew could be,
That her fears were validated
By the simplicity of regret.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The poet drew the line in the sand;
Connecting it to another.
She knew where it began
But not where it was to end.

And so she followed the line,
Searching for the other.
She went through heat,
Through snow and weather violent.

The end never seemed to come,
Her dimming hopes having enough.
With feet so tired, eyes so weary,
How could the gentle poet go on?

So she sank; in spirit, in body,
Her knees hitting sand so rough.
Head falling, hanging in defeat;
And in her despair, the poet missed the gleam.

Unfinished Poem

There you were, all laughter and poise,
Soon I'd find out it was all just white noise,
Because, in the end you were nothing but pain,
But at least I found out and have had the nerve to gain.

So when we're gone, distant memories in the wind,
Will you think that it was all worth it, in the end?
I do, but then, I'm ready to admit,
That we just never would have been a fit.

No changing, no games, no wants or desires,
Could clean up the train-wreck or rekindle the fires.
In the end, I just couldn't stay the same,
Couldn't give up my dreams or tarnish my name.

Bright Eyes

I walked a dream from beach to land
And in the dream, there was a strange and alluring man.
He held out his palm, his eyes so stern,
He did not need to speak, not a single word.
And in that space, of looking, of watching,
I saw it.

I took the hand, I took the plunge,
I followed him, eyes open and waiting.
And when we arrived to the house so still,
I stared in awe and let myself be filled.
It was so terrifying, that silent awakening.
I woke up.

With wonder and excitement, I waited.
His lips began to move, forming slowly.
I was on edge, ready to hear,
I was nervous, beginning to fear.
And then in the quiet, the still and the moment,
He said it.

“Bright Eyes.”

Release

I knew I feared the unknown
The things I could not see
I knew I feared the shadows
I knew what they would be

It’s not that the light was turned on
Or the items that cast, removed
It is that I am not afraid
Because I can no longer be pursued

I see you, how you tried to kill me slowly
I see you, how you took over my life
I see you, how you kept up until I fell
I see you, how you fed and thrived on the strife

I ran from you, fear overwhelming
I hid from you, thinking I was weak
I fought you, taking too long to beat you at your own game
I won. Now it’s YOUR freedom you must seek

Classification: Inconsequential

When you are lost between dream and nightmare, do you ever think of me?
Of what we were, what we are, what we could have been?
Of my eyes, of my lips, of my freckled skin?
Or am I gone, am I lost, is it not I you see?

When you are drifting between truth and lies, do you ever regret?
The things you said, the things you did, the look in your eyes?
The false hellos, the thoughtless kisses, the endless goodbyes?
Or am I gone, am I lost, did you forget?

When you are hovering between life and death, am I on your mind?
Was I the one, was I the dream, was I the one you needed?
Should you have come, should you have begged, should you have pleaded?
Or am I gone, am I lost, am I left behind?

The Plea

Follow the path right down
Open the door
Right there for the taking
Reach out, touch it, feel it

Because the way to my heart has complications
Because the way to my heart is for no simple traveler
Because the way to my heart is only for the brave
Be reckless, my love, be strong and take my heart away

I’ve been remiss in my duty
I haven’t kept house the way a girl should
It’s covered in thorns and signs bidding you to be weary
Time to clear out, clean out, become a welcoming home

So it’s there.
It’s finally there.
It’s time to let you in.
Don’t let me down, please… Just don’t let me down.

Musical Perspective

Musical Perspective
By Manda

Pounding, deep in your veins.
Breath quickens, mind races.
Focus, focus.
Pulsing rhythm in your bones.
Mouth opens, eyes watch.
Music fills the air.

Humming, tickling your skin.
Wrong note, rushing panic.
Focus, focus.
Trying to get back on track.
Push ahead, keep moving.
The self doubt is there.

Tripping, sour to the ear.
Shame burning, disappointment clear.
Focus, focus.
Last note, mouth closes.

Tried and failed.
Just not fair.

The Rose

The Rose
by Manda

Growing with time
Blooming brightly
Long, delicate neck, leading to the rose
Beauty from nature
Graceful perfection

Wait

Imperfection stings
Thrust out from beauty
Unworthy of the beautiful flower
True, a glaring fault
Incredible shame

Tragic

Beauty deserving
Perfection unmarred
Tamed and tainted unjustly, made impure
Pricked, torn, ruined
Broke by a thorn

I'm sorry

Haikus

Within a sunset,
There lies a million dreams
Waiting to be had


Let your life be as
A book, each turn of a page
A chance to know more


A thought I ponder;
If the rose was imperfection
What, then, is perfect?


Love takes many shapes.
Fear, obsession, happiness;
Which is more intense?


If we let the sun
Shine into the room of our
Life, what will we find?


Turn a new leaf just
To inspect the other side.
See if it's better.