Tonight, something happened that hadn’t in so long. I felt the music. Notes flowed over my eardrums like they always do but with the first chord; it was a blast to my chest, a letter to my heart, a wake up call to myself.
All the corny happenings that I avoided for so long fell on me; a gasp for air, a tear blurring my surroundings, feeling whole, so whole. It hurt.
I felt sick for a moment before the heat started. It began in my chest and spread to my neck, my face, my arms, my hands, my finger tips. Then down, to the pits of my stomach, a jolt of energy down my spine, a tingle in my hips, a burning in my legs, feeling in my feet, a curl in my toes.
The burn was so intense, it made my eyes close, it made my mouth dry, my stomach drop.
I don’t know if it’s from my life being empty, I don’t know if it’s from my unfulfilled potential.
I don’t know if it’s my body, from my fingertips to toes, telling me that I need more.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m fulfilled in some aspects and barren in others, or if I finally have this feeling that I can be more.
More than a statistic, more than a face, more than a body, more than some words on a page, more than who I used to be, more than who I could have been, more than me.
God, it hurts so deep, so much, so hard.
But fuck if it’s not the best thing I’ve felt in so long.
“Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.”
No comments:
Post a Comment